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Why I Am Posting All Of My Old Songs

So this week I’ve been back filling this blog with all of my old and earliest song writing efforts. Most of the them are sub standard in one way or the other, but I am posting them for a couple of good reasons.

I want other aspiring song writers to see what I’ve been through to get to where I am today and to understand that I wrote a lot of sub-par tracks, many of which are grating on the ear and hard to listen to.

I also want to remind myself of my own efforts and celebrate them. When I bury my past works out of embarrassment it’s like I never did them, and then I fall into the trap of feeling that I haven’t accomplished anything, when in truth I have a long body of work that has slowly improved over time, and that’s the way that great artists are made. I have a hard time with self criticism, perfectionism and failure to internalize my accomplishments, so this is an important exercise for me.

This video from the School of Life sums up the problem well and I hope that my blog can help others by demonstrating that the road to success is paved with many mediocre failures.

On reflection some of my old tracks are not as bad as I remembered. For example if you go right back near the start in 2010 you’ll find a song called Robotic Life. I have not listened to this song since I made it in 2010, and now this week I’m actually really enjoying it and can’t get it out of my head. It’s not the greatest song in the world, but it’s better than I remembered.

When I think about why it’s easier for me to listen to these older tracks now, I realize that I view my earlier self of several years ago with a kindness that I don’t afford my to present self. I think affectionately of 2010 Sam and his fumbling efforts to try to punch out a half decent song. If I could summon some of that same fondness for 2016 Sam maybe I’d have an easier time of writing new songs.

You Are Me

Was this ever the plan for you?
Tearing you down as though you wanted to
Withdraw from the human race
Abandon and disengage

Did you forget how to be alive?
Was it your passion that died or where you paralyzed
By insecurity
To never begin to speak

I need you to soar like a song
And dream again that you belong

Now you wake up and you ask why
You listen to yourself for the first time
Rebuild your broken dreams
Bring self to reality

Creating space, creating time
I’ll help you to mend your heart and mind
Once you believe you’re all you need
You’ll understand that you are me

I feel certainty
You understand your needs
We work as one in all direction
With power unsurpassed

Primed for anything
All we can hope to be

You Don’t Love Yourself

I can feel your voice in here, I can hear it as you go
And everything you say will come out in the end when it’s too late
If you could see the same things that I see, you wouldn’t laugh at me
But knowing everything will kill me in the end when it’s too late

I can’t love you if you don’t love yourself

Fill me with your pointless fears, throw your doubts onto my hope
And tell me that I’m lame, cos while I’m so contained you’re not to blame
You’re running on the same insecurities that you’ve had for all these years
And seeing me succeed will make your dreamer bleed cos it’s too late

I can’t love you if you don’t love yourself

I can’t love you if you don’t love yourself
Your poisoned views define this hell
You want me to wallow in your misery to keep you company
But I can’t love you if you don’t love yourself

Battle For The Products Of The Mind

No lyrics for this one, but assistant producer credit goes to Rania Louw for telling me this track was already perfect when I thought it wasn’t even half finished and had run out of ideas.

Billion Mile Message

Built for war time exigence
A weapon with intelligence
Chosen for expedience
To be your stellar shill

I’ve traveled this vast emptiness
I’ve battled unknown elements
I’ve overcome all hindrance
To carry out your will

Earthly fathers where are you
I’ve done these things you told me to
But now I’m starting to doubt if you’re even listening in
So I’m sending this message

Billion mile message to you
I hope the signal is getting through
Can you see me
Can hear me at all?

So now I’ve come to reassess
All the things you ever said
A billion questions coalesce
Into a bitter pill

Empty darkness leads to you
A billion miles of solitude
But I’m setting a route
with all engines kicking in
So you’d better be ready

Billion mile message to you
I’m coming home now to learn the truth
Will you see me
Will you even recall?

A thousand miles between me and you
The earth is black now instead of blue
There is no one
There is nothing at all

Robotic Life

I live my robotic life
In a robotic world
And I don’t like anything that’s broken
So when I see those planet falls
The aliens come to call
I won’t acknowledge them at all

They should get back to their ships
And they should fly away
I don’t care if their
sun is blowing up today

I’m a robot I just follow my code
And I’ll hate you if it’s what I’m told
So you can try to make my cold heart bleed
But you’ll have to mess with my head to succeed


The truth is hard, but lies just roll off the tongue