So this week I’ve been back filling this blog with all of my old and earliest song writing efforts. Most of the them are sub standard in one way or the other, but I am posting them for a couple of good reasons.
I want other aspiring song writers to see what I’ve been through to get to where I am today and to understand that I wrote a lot of sub-par tracks, many of which are grating on the ear and hard to listen to.
I also want to remind myself of my own efforts and celebrate them. When I bury my past works out of embarrassment it’s like I never did them, and then I fall into the trap of feeling that I haven’t accomplished anything, when in truth I have a long body of work that has slowly improved over time, and that’s the way that great artists are made. I have a hard time with self criticism, perfectionism and failure to internalize my accomplishments, so this is an important exercise for me.
This video from the School of Life sums up the problem well and I hope that my blog can help others by demonstrating that the road to success is paved with many mediocre failures.
On reflection some of my old tracks are not as bad as I remembered. For example if you go right back near the start in 2010 you’ll find a song called Robotic Life. I have not listened to this song since I made it in 2010, and now this week I’m actually really enjoying it and can’t get it out of my head. It’s not the greatest song in the world, but it’s better than I remembered.
When I think about why it’s easier for me to listen to these older tracks now, I realize that I view my earlier self of several years ago with a kindness that I don’t afford my to present self. I think affectionately of 2010 Sam and his fumbling efforts to try to punch out a half decent song. If I could summon some of that same fondness for 2016 Sam maybe I’d have an easier time of writing new songs.